hi. day 1.

hi

i... don't know what to write. i just had this feel or urge to write. maybe it'll make me feel easier, more relieved. i hope so.

i am tired.

i had to go to uni today. i woke up early and just stayed in bed. still in bed.
i feel already like a failure. can't concentrate on studying. it's hard.
my head is just filled with so many thoughts in my head, and none of them make sense. none.
i wish i made sense too. but i don't.
i got everything, yet i feel sad and depressed.
so many i's, so selfish, huh.

static noise in my head. everything is buzzing. yet there's no sound.
it's as i am yelling in space.

too scared to die.
too scared to live.

wish my 18 birthday was last. wish that i had guts to stay longer.
wish i was dead by now.

i better off dead
for everyone
even for myself

my skin is clean. for now. the thoughts don't leave me.

is there still time?